Goal Setting with TEENS Part 1: You are the Guide
As parents, we want the best for our children. We want to see them grow to become successful, independent individuals! This growth of becoming independent beings while still learning how to manage their environment everyday is challenging!
Do we force our kids to do what we want them to do? No.
Do we give them all their independence without any direction? No.
How do we help our teens gain the skills to become independent, successful adults?
We teach them how to set, work, and evaluate goals!
What is our job as the parent? We become the GUIDE, not the expert. We are to encourage, help set up systems, listen, and support. David A. Bednar says, "Parents and leaders should become guides who help young people learn how to find answers for themselves."
That is exactly it. We need to help our kids learn how to find answers for themselves!
In order for kids to fully take on a goal, it needs to be their idea. They need to be invested in it. Therefore as parents, we encourage the goal even if we see no value in it.
It is the PROCESS of creating, working, and reflecting on goals that we, as parents, want to teach! This process can be used throughout their lives. And the best way to learn is by doing.
In the book "Goal Getters: Coaching your Kids along the Covenant Path" by Hunt & Eck, they teach about goal loops. This is the process of helping our kids set up goals, encouraging our kids to put in the work by themselves, then coming back together to reflect on what went right and what can improve. What I love most about this process is empowering our kids to work on their own without intervening but then coming together to support and guide them.
We will see real growth as we empower our children to create goals that interest themselves. You will see their motivation to work and reflect on these goals! It is in the work and reflection that our young teens will grow into awesome independent adults! Isn't that every parents dream?! I know it is mine!
How can you empower your teen with their goals?